


Is It Raining Where You Are?

by gh0sthunt



Series: BMC x TFB [3]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Squip, Boys Kissing, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Drug Use, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Panic Attacks, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, Inspired by Music, Jeremy's mom and Jenna are also mentioned but they don't actually show up, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Texting, Trans Male Character, Trans Michael Mell, boyf riends - Freeform, it's literally just Michael smoking weed like once, no beta we die like men, there's not really a tag for it but they're internet friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 17:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13416315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0sthunt/pseuds/gh0sthunt
Summary: Jeremy was fourteen when his mother walked out on him. That same year, he met Michael Mell, the boy who changed his life for the better.





	Is It Raining Where You Are?

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this isn't even proof read at all because I'm crying over Bare: A Pop Opera right now, so this might be trash.
> 
> Title from West Virginia by The Front Bottoms

Jeremy wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, and settled into the chair at his computer desk. He heard the blip of a new message - several, actually, all from the same person. He knew who it was before he even opened the application.

 **SlushieJunkie:** yooo jer  
**SlushieJunkie:** u awake yet?  
**SlushieJunkie:** o wait it's like 4 am there  
**SlushieJunkie:** hmu when u wake up

There was a gap of a few hours before more messages were sent, judging by the time stamps.

 **SlushieJunkie:** jerrrrrrrrr  
**SlushieJunkie:** usually u at least leave me on read by now  
**SlushieJunkie:** i'm getting kinda worried :c

Another message arrived just as Jeremy had finished catching up.

 **SlushieJunkie:** UR ALIVE

 **HeereIsQueer:** sorry, I slept in  
**HeereIsQueer:** I'm sick so I just stayed home

 **SlushieJunkie:** yikes, w/ what?

 **HeereIsQueer:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ probably just a cold

As if on queue, Jeremy sneezed. He checked the time and realized it had been a good while since he first woke up and took medication, so it was time for another round. He pushed away from his desk, and ventured out of his room, blanket trailing behind him like a cape.

The house was quiet as he went downstairs. His dad was most likely still asleep even though it was well into the afternoon. It made their home seem much larger than it actually was when there was so much empty space.

Jeremy didn't spend much time outside of his bedroom. He downed the disgusting syrupy liquid designed for curing colds, then retreated back to the dimly lit room.

He sat down at his computer desk and drew his knees up to his chest, reading over the messages that had arrived in his absence.

 **SlushieJunkie:** pls tell me ur dad is actually taking care of u  
**SlushieJunkie:** if not then i'm gonna mail u a gallon of chicken soup  
**SlushieJunkie:** wait no that would take forever  
**SlushieJunkie:** u read all that instantly but never started typing  
**SlushieJunkie:** did u fall asleep at ur computer again?  
**SlushieJunkie:** u need to actually go rest

 **HeereIsQueer:** woah Michael chill omg

Michael had been in the midst of typing more, but paused briefly when Jeremy returned.

 **HeereIsQueer:** I'm fine, I swear  
**HeereIsQueer:** I just had to take more dayquil

 **SlushieJunkie:** u still need to answer my first question

 **HeereIsQueer:** who do you think bought the cough syrup lol  
**HeereIsQueer:** he went back to sleep after buying it tho  
**HeereIsQueer:** which I guess is good bc I don't wanna get him sick and end up in an endless loop

Jeremy understood Michael's concern for him. Michael was really the only person who knew his situation at home. It wasn't bad; Jeremy had started to cope after the first month, but rift had been driven between him and his dad after his mom walked out on them. Jeremy much preferred the quiet house to the screaming that occurred whenever his parents were home at the same time. He and his dad were dealing with the change differently, and they had just recently gotten to bridging the gap between them that grew when his father started to distance himself. His dad had started making an effort to be a responsible parent, which meant he actually wore pants. Jeremy considered that an improvement.

He had met Michael online in a forum for retro gaming when the tension at home had first started. The two had been stuck on the same level on Apocalypse of the Damned. They went from sharing tips in a thread to getting to know each other in private chat. Nearly two years later, the distance across the United States was only thing keeping them from practically being attached at the hip.

The familiar intonation of Jeremy's computer notified him of Michael's response.

 **SlushieJunkie:** i'm prepared to fight him if i need to

Jeremy snorted a laugh.

 **HeereIsQueer:** nah, it's fine. he's actually been cooking this week instead of just ordering us takeout all the time.  
**HeereIsQueer:** wbu tho? how was school?

 **SlushieJunkie:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**SlushieJunkie:** boring as usual  
**SlushieJunkie:** which reminds me, i'm pretty much buried in hw bc midterms are coming up

 **HeereIsQueer:** go get it done then lol

 **SlushieJunkie:** i don't wannaaaaaaa  
**SlushieJunkie:** ugh but i gotta  
**SlushieJunkie:** u need to sleep anyways

 **HeereIsQueer:** just go, you dork

 **SlushieJunkie:** fineeeeee

Jeremy watched as the green bubble next to Michael's username turned gray, signaling that he was offline. He swiveled around in his chair and stretched. All he'd done that day was sleep, and now his muscles were stiff.

He moved from his desk chair to his beanbag on the floor with an ungraceful flop, and powered on his game console, deciding that gaming was the best way to pass the time until Michael came back.

* * *

Jeremy returned home after school, intending to do the work he had missed while sick, but Michael had sent him a string of messages that raised his concern. Michael had been sent home early, but didn't say why. He told Jeremy that he would be getting high, and to call him if he wanted to talk.

Jeremy did just that, hitting the button for video chat. When Michael picked up, it was just as he said. Smoke drifted around Michael as he exhaled it. Jeremy could hear a soft guitar strum coming from the speaker in his room.

"Hey," Michael greeted, smiling easily.

"Hey, what happened, man?" Jeremy asked.

Michael's smile fell to a frown, and he ran a hand through his hair, looking down. "Oh right, that," he mumbled.

Jeremy winced, feeling guilty for making Michael remember what had upset him.

"We had a substitute teacher in math, and she, uh, deadnamed me," he answered softly. "That wasn't a big deal, though. It happens sometimes because my legal name is on all my records and stuff - I mean, yeah, it hurts a little, but she wasn't rude or anything, and she corrected herself." He paused, taking a hit from the joint in his hand. "But then some guys in my class were dicks about it, kept saying it over and over and I just-" Michael took a deep breath. "I had a panic attack in class, so the school sent me home."

"Damn, dude, that's awful." Jeremy's heart ached. He wished he could be there in person to comfort Michael.

For a few moments, only the sounds of Michael's music filled the space between them as Michael brought the joint to his lips again. He looked off to the side, appearing to space out a moment. Jeremy began to think that he was too high to keep up conversation any longer.

"Is it raining where you are?" Michael asked quietly. He looked back at Jeremy, a thoughtful look on his face.

Jeremy shook his head. "I basically live in a desert."

Michael seemed disappointed by his answer, but didn't elaborate on his thoughts. They let the music fill the silence again, each of them wishing they could be in the other's bedroom.

* * *

**SlushieJunkie:** so um  
**SlushieJunkie:** i got invited to a party that's tonight???

Jeremy stared at his phone for several seconds, reading over Michael's messages. He didn't think Michael was capable of such a feat.

 **HeereIsQueer:** :0  
**HeereIsQueer:** are you gonna go?  
**HeereIsQueer:** wait wtf it's a thursday. who parties on a thursday????

 **SlushieJunkie:** idk i'm not really a party person anyways

"Mr. Heere, phone away, please," the teacher snapped, startling Jeremy.

 **HeereIsQueer:** got caught gtg

Jeremy's phone buzzed a few minutes before the bell rang. He waited until class was over to read Michael's message, careful not to run into anyone as he walked to his next class.

 **SlushieJunkie:** ok so jenna says i have to go

**HeereIsQueer:** Jenna? 

**SlushieJunkie:** lab partner. she's the one who invited me.

 **HeereIsQueer:** why does she want you to go so badly?

 **SlushieJunkie:** she says i'm missing out on the high school experience or smth like that idk

 **HeereIsQueer:** so are you going?

 **SlushieJunkie:** it's not like i have anything better to do on a friday night lol. i can just bail if i don't like it.

Jeremy sent a thumbs up emoji to Michael as he crossed the threshold into the classroom. He out his phone away before he could get scolded again.

When the school day finally drew to a close, Jeremy sent another message to Michael, whose status showed he was offline.

 **HeereIsQueer:** I'm assuming you're getting ready for the party rn and I won't hear from you for a while but gl tonight. I'll be here if the party turns out to be lame lol.

That evening, Jeremy was playing video games when his computer notified him of a message from Michael. He hit pause and moved to sit at his desk.

 **SlushieJunkie:** well this party is kinda lame but maybe that's bc i'm not drunk  
**SlushieJunkie:** drunk people are both hilarious and cringeworthy

 **HeereIsQueer:** if it's no fun then why are you still there?

 **SlushieJunkie:** i promised jenna a ride home  
**SlushieJunkie:** plus there's a cute dog  
**SlushieJunkie:** [IMG_237]

Jeremy clicked the link to the photo to expand it, and couldn't help but smile at the dog that Michael put a sparkly filter over.

 **HeereIsQueer:** a beauty

 **SlushieJunkie:** i wish i knew her name :c  
**SlushieJunkie:** she likes the room i'm in bc it's quiet

 **HeereIsQueer:** so are you just in a room alone with the dog?

 **SlushieJunkie:** there's a few people that crashed

Jeremy glanced at the clock in the corner of his screen. It was nearly midnight where Michael lived. He wondered if Michael had a curfew, but a more pressing matter was at the forefront of his mind.

 **HeereIsQueer:** have you had anything? like, alcohol or drug wise

 **SlushieJunkie:** i had like a sip of some cheap beer but it was gross  
**SlushieJunkie:** also the weed people are smoking isn't that great so i turned down any offers

Jeremy let out a breath of relief. Michael had admitted he wasn't drunk before, but he still worried about him because Jeremy was across the country and wouldn't be able to help if anything went wrong.

 **HeereIsQueer:** do your parents not care that you're out late?

 **SlushieJunkie:** not really. i haven't made any horribly bad decisions yet so they trust me. i should probably be back by midnight tho just in case.  
**SlushieJunkie:** shit it's almost midnight. i gotta go find jenna.

 **HeereIsQueer:** please be safe

 **SlushieJunkie:** i'll let u know when i'm home dw

A few minutes later, Michael sent another message.

 **SlushieJunkie:** found jenna. leaving now.

Jeremy waited anxiously for Michael's next update. He had tried to distract himself with his game again, but it hadn't worked. Michael had told him not to worry, but that was what Jeremy did best, so he couldn't help chewing on his lip as he stared at his computer screen, trying not to imagine what horrible things could happen to his cru- best friend.

Just over a half hour later, his computer notified him again.

 **SlushieJunkie:** i'm home

 **HeereIsQueer:** everything go alright?

 **SlushieJunkie:** yep jenna is home safe  
**SlushieJunkie:** i'm ok too. tbh tho that party was a disappointment lol

One corner of Jeremy's mouth quirked up into a soft smile.

 **HeereIsQueer:** they're better when you actually know more than one person  
**HeereIsQueer:** not that I'm an expert or anything

 **SlushieJunkie:** :0 omg  
**SlushieJunkie:** jeremiah heere  
**SlushieJunkie:** are u secretly a party animal and u never told me?

 **HeereIsQueer:** no!!  
**HeereIsQueer:** I've only been to a few bc Rich or Jake would throw one

 **SlushieJunkie:** dude what's it like to be cool

 **HeereIsQueer:** idk you should ask someone else

 **SlushieJunkie:** ooo good comeback  
**SlushieJunkie:** seriously tho i'd rather stay home and play mario party than go to an actual party  
**SlushieJunkie:** wow i think that is the nerdiest thing i have ever said in my entire life

Jeremy stifled a laugh, not wanting his dad in the next room over to come investigate.

 **HeereIsQueer:** dude you need to sleep or you're gonna be dead at school tomorrow

 **SlushieJunkie:** sleep is for the weak  
**SlushieJunkie:** and i am weak

 **HeereIsQueer:** lol good night

 **SlushieJunkie:** gn bro

Jeremy glanced at the time. It wasn't even ten yet for him. He decidedly hated time zones.

* * *

**SlushieJunkie:** JEREMY  
**SlushieJunkie:** I HAVE GREAT NEWS

 **HeereIsQueer:** ???

Michael was easily excitable, that was for sure, so it wasn't an uncommon occurrence for Jeremy to get a message like this. Usually it was over something small, like a new CD or cassette to fuel Michael's music addiction. Nonetheless, Jeremy loved to see Michael so happy.

His screen flashed with the message that he had an incoming video call from Michael. He picked up without hesitation, beginning to wonder just how big the news was if he couldn't type it out.

"What's up?" Jeremy asked once Michael appeared.

Michael was practically bouncing in his seat with the sheer amount of excitement that he was trying to contain. "We get to meet," he blurted out.

"Wait, what?" Jeremy spluttered. "Dude, you can't just lead with that. I- What?!"

"Long story short, my parents have some business meetings in your city and they're taking me with them," Michael elaborated. "We still need to get your dad's approval, though."

Jeremy took a moment to process, mouth agape and eyes wide. He quickly nodded and practically launched himself toward the door. "I'll go get him now," he called over his shoulder, hearing Michael laugh in response. His loud, hurried footsteps gave away his return with his father in tow.

Michael's parents were already at either side of him, leaning in to take a closer look at the screen.

Jeremy and Michael's parents had met a few times before. When Michael's parents found out he was making friends online, they were concerned that he was actually talking to a predator of some sort. They had insisted on meeting with Jeremy and his dad. The first video call with everyone together had been hard to set up, at first, because Jeremy had become distanced from his dad and Michael's parents had busy work schedules. Michael's parents and Jeremy's dad had a talk about how they were both concerned for the safety of their sons, and ultimately decided that neither of them were in danger. Michael had trouble making friends in school, so his parents were glad to find out that he finally had someone to talk to, even if it was online.

"So what's this important talk that Jeremy's so excited about?" Mr. Heere asked.

Michael's parents began to explain their plans for the business trip, which would be happening a week and a half from then. They would be arriving in the state a day early, because Michael's parents wanted to meet the Heere family in person at least once before allowing Michael to spend most of his time with them. Michael had insisted they were being overprotective, but they believed it was a necessity. After the first day, Michael's parents would be pretty tied up with work, but Michael would be free to leave the hotel room so long as he wasn't alone and he told his parents where he would be going.

Jeremy's dad took a moment to think everything over after they finished. "I don't see how any of that would be a problem. If something comes up, you've still got my contact info, right?" Both of them nodded. "Great!"

They chatted for a bit more, saying goodbye in that long-winded way that parents do. Jeremy and Michael awkwardly waited for them to leave. Finally, Mr. Heere announced that he needed to go back to paying bills, which prompted Michael's parents to leave as well.

Grins spread wide across the boys' faces once they were alone. Jeremy began to ramble on about all the things he and Michael could do.

They practically drove their family's crazy over the course of the days leading up to Michael's departure from home. 

When the big day finally came, it almost didn't feel real. They had been friends for two years, soon to be three, but they always thought they weren't going to meet until college.

"You nervous?" Jeremy's dad asked.

Jeremy was bouncing on his heels, glancing around him for any sign of Michael's telltale red sweatshirt. He nodded, not stopping in his search.

They had agreed to meet the Michael's family at the subway station, before they went to their hotel. Their parents claimed it was for convenience since they were going out to eat, but Jeremy and Michael were beginning to think that their parents just didn't want to deal with more pestering.

"Jeremy!"

Said boy was immediately turning his head toward the sound. He saw a hand waving above the crowd and stood on his tiptoes for a better look. As soon as he spotted the red sleeve, he was running over, ignoring his dad's protest. The crowd parted slightly, revealing Michael with a big, goofy grin on his face that Jeremy loved in a not-so-platonic way. Normally, he internally scolded himself for such thoughts, but he couldn't be bothered in that moment, only focused on getting to Michael.

Jeremy hadn't realized how close they were until Michael was suddenly there, crashing into him so hard that it nearly knocked what little air he had from his lungs. Michael's arms were around his neck, pulling him in close, and Jeremy immediately wrapped his arms around Michael's waist in a grip that he hoped wasn't too tight.

"Holy shit, you're real," Michael breathed into his shoulder, sounding like he would cry, and oh no, if you cry, I'm gonna cry and people are already staring.

"I'm real," Jeremy answered with a laugh, pushing away his anxious thoughts.

Michael was the first to pull away, still holding onto Jeremy's shoulders. The same smile was still plastered to Michael's face, and now that they were apart, Jeremy could tell that his eyes were a bit watery. Jeremy would be lying if he said his weren't, too.

It was then that they realized they were still standing in the middle of the subway station, disrupting foot traffic. Their parents coerced them to the side, and began leading them to the exit.

"This is crazy," Jeremy mumbled, bumping his shoulder lightly against Michael's as they walked side by side.

Michael nodded in agreement, nudging Jeremy a bit harder in response. Both were at a loss for words now that they were face to face.

Jeremy kept glancing at Michael out of the corner of his eye, occasionally turning his head to look at him fully, hoping he wouldn't be caught staring.

"Would it be weird if I held your hand?" Michael asked quietly, just loud enough for Jeremy to hear.

Confused, Jeremy stuttered out, "N-Not if we don't m-make it weird."

Michael took Jeremy's hand after a second of hesitation. "I've just never been in a city this big, and I'm seeing you for the first time, and my headphones are in my suitcase, and it's just a lot," he rambled, feeling as if he needed to explain himself.

Jeremy willed himself not to blush. "It's fine, I get it," he said.

Michael smiled softly, appearing bashful. That seemed to break the ice. The two were soon talking about all the things that they could fit into the few days Michael would be there, enjoying what little time they had together.

* * *

The last night Michael spent with Jeremy was bittersweet. He was staying at the Heere house yet again where his parents would pick him up early in the morning to go to the airport.

"We are so pulling an all-nighter," Jeremy said as he shut his bedroom door behind them.

"Was that ever even a question?" Michael asked with a laugh.

Jeremy smiled and plopped down in his beanbag in front of the TV, then motioned Michael over. "We're finally on level nine," he said, turning on the console that had Apocalypse of the Damned in.

"Ahh, memories," Michael feigned overdramatic wistfulness, falling back into his beanbag as ungraceful as Jeremy had.

Jeremy handed Michael his controller, hands brushing against each other. He let his gaze linger on Michael.

It felt right having him here, as if they had always been best friends, as if they had grown up together. He kept replaying the moment of holding hands with Michael in his head. They had had a lot of casual touches since then, often bumping shoulders or leaning over each other. Small things like these made him wish that he could be closer with Michael, wish they could be more than friends. He knew he shouldn't hope for too much, though. He was happy just being friends if that was all Michael wanted.

"Hellooooo, Earth to Jeremy." Michael waved a hand in front of his face.

"Huh?" 

"You were staring," Michael pointed out. "What's wrong? Is there something on my face?" Jeremy could see the concern in his eyes behind his joking tone.

He shook his head, scolding himself for staring for so long, so obviously. "Sorry, I just zoned out." He turned to the screen. "You ready?"

Michael gave a swift nod, and Jeremy pressed the play button.

They played into the late hours, switching games midway through. It was around three in the morning when they finally paused for a break. 

"My parents will be here in a few hours," Michael said around a yawn.

Jeremy nodded, feeling a heavy pit in his stomach at the thought. He looked up, their eyes meeting.

In that moment, sleep deprived and some mixture of happy and sad, Michael looked so vulnerable, so open. Jeremy wanted so badly to close the space between them.

Jeremy's eyes flickered down to Michael's lips then back up to lock eyes. Michael mirrored the motion, and was suddenly leaning closer to Jeremy. As if Michael had his own sort of gravity, Jeremy felt drawn to him, meeting him halfway. Their noses bumped together lightly, causing each of them to move back a bit. Their faces were barely an inch apart. Michael appeared to be searching Jeremy's features for something - rejection, maybe?

Time seemed to have slowed down. Jeremy thought it was likely because both of them were so tired. They were there for what felt like minutes, but in reality was no longer than a couple seconds.

Jeremy inhaled sharply, squeezed his eyes shut, and closed the few centimeters left between them. 

Michael didn't push him away, didn't hesitate to move his mouth in time with Jeremy's.

It was slow, soft, not quite coordinated, but the best they could do with barely functioning minds and minimal experience. Jeremy knew for a fact that Michael had never been in a relationship, let alone had his first kiss. Jeremy had only ever kissed his friend, Christine, and it had been awkward for both of them. It was nothing like this.

They pulled apart for air, and Michael took the time to shift into a more comfortable position.

"So what does this mean?" Michael asked.

Jeremy averted his eyes. "I dunno."

"That wasn't, like, because you felt pressured or anything, right? That was because you actually like me?" He seemed so unsure of himself.

"Yeah, that was because I l-like you," Jeremy admitted in an awkward mumble. He was sure his cheeks were tinged red. He wondered if "love" was too strong of a word to use right now.

"What are we gonna do, then?" Michael questioned. "We live so far apart, but, God, I've wanted this forever."

"Lots of people have long distance relationships," Jeremy responded. "They're common nowadays, and I think we could make it work."

"So you really do want to be together?"

Jeremy nodded confidently. "If that's what you want, too, then yeah."

Michael looked down for a moment in thought. "Yeah, I do." He looked back up, his brown eyes meeting Jeremy's blue ones. "We can talk more in the morning about this. For now, I just want to enjoy whatever this is."

Jeremy nodded, leaning a bit closer. "That was your first kiss, wasn't it?"

Michael seemed to have realized that only as Jeremy said it. He chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess it was."

Jeremy lightly placed his hand over Michael's, a soft smile on his face, and a blush scattered across his cheeks.

Michael laced their fingers together. He shifted closer, leaning forward until their foreheads touched.

Their lips met again, this kiss a bit less clumsy than the last. Jeremy smiled into it, breaking it off but keeping their faces close.

"My dad will be awake soon," he mumbled. His eyes fluttered shut, eyelashes tickling Michael's cheek.

Michael hummed in affirmation, not wanting to move just yet.

As if on queue, there was a knock on the door, and they pulled apart as Jeremy called to his dad that they were awake.

"I've gotta be at the office early. You boys want pancakes?" Mr. Heere asked, poking his head into the room. He seemed to notice something and added, "Did you two stay up all night?"

Both boys laughed, which was enough of an admission.

"Pancakes would be great, Mr. Heere," Michael replied, Jeremy nodding in agreement.

Jeremy's dad gave a mock salute then left to go downstairs to the kitchen.

Michael glanced down, noticing that their fingers were still interlocked. "Oh, shit." He emitted a surprised laugh.

Jeremy followed his eyes. "I bet he didn't even notice," he said. "My dad is oblivious."

"You're out to him, aren't you?" Michael asked.

Jeremy nodded. "Yeah, he's cool. Well, 'cool' being relative. He'll still gladly show my date all my awkward baby pictures if they come over for dinner," he explained.

"Hey, I've seen your baby pictures, they're cute!" Michael protested, shoving Jeremy's shoulder lightly when he snorted.

There was no question that Michael was out to his parents. He had two different pride flags sewn to the right sleeve of his favorite sweatshirt.

Jeremy heaved a sigh and reluctantly stood. "We should get dressed."

Michael's face fell for a moment at the change in attitude, but he quickly put on a smile again as he stood. "Don't act like this is the last time you're seeing me. I mean, yeah it sucks that I gotta leave, but it's not like we're never gonna talk again." He rummaged through his suitcase for the last of his clean clothes.

Jeremy nodded resolutely. "You're right. I'll have time to miss you later. Right now is what's important." The smile returned to Jeremy's face, and Michael did a little victory dance in his head.

They threw on their clothes, shared one final kiss, and headed downstairs at the call of Jeremy's father.

The breakfast table was filled with laughter and bright smiles. Their goodbye was one of tear-filled eyes and tight hugs. Despite their heavy hearts, they knew they would meet again.

**Author's Note:**

> The picture of the dog that Michael sends Jeremy is in reference to a picture of my friend's dog that I was going to insert, but couldn't figure out how lmao


End file.
